Anita Ekberg Wants To Be Friends With You

Actually, Anita Ekberg wants to be friends with me. I just wanted to make that clear before continuing.

Anita Ekberg wants to be friends with me! Just how freaky and fantastic is that? I knew that Facebook would prove to be this exciting if I waited long enough. And now that day has come. I'm putting aside Newser, Sons Of Anarchy, and Let Constance Take Her Girlfriend To The Prom, in favor of Anita. At least for the moment.

But before I plan a celebration, I'm going to do a little research, just to make sure about hitting that CONFIRM button. You can never be too careful choosing your friends, even if they have chosen you (or me) first.

All I can tell from her Facebook "Info" is that she likes Leonard Cohen, Wilco, and a bunch of bands I've never heard of. She has lots of other "Likes and Interests", ranging from Stella McCartney and Vogue, to Federico Fellini and FEDERICO FELLINI (I suppose, just in case, I didn't hear her the first time), to "Intelligent, classy, well-educated women who say "F*ck" a lot", to... let's just say she seems to have a large array of "Likes and Interests".

I seem to have far fewer "Likes and Interests" than Anita. She has about ninety-five to my twenty-four. And she doesn't have "I don't like folding my laundry so I just restart the dryer" on her list. I don't know whether to be friends with her or not.

Anita's hometown is listed as Malmo, Sweden and her current city is Rome, Italy. Other than these two pieces of information, which sound kind of likely for Anita Ekberg, I'm afraid I might be dealing with someone who only thinks they are Anita Ekberg (which would be kind of scary), or someone pretending to be Anita so as not to reveal their own true identity.

I need more info about the real Anita. With the Internet at my disposal this is simple. Without the Internet, Anita Ekberg would not be asking to be my friend. This is why I'm so happy to be living in this day and age.

I'm sorry to say we don't have much in common. I have never been a fashion model, beauty queen, or studio, contract starlet. However, I will say that Anita claims to have spent a lot of time horseback riding while being spoiled by Universal and did not seek bigger film roles. I'm no equestrian, but I can say that Sudoku-ing has probably sidetracked me from something career-related on a few occasions. Same MO without the studio.

When Anita's dress burst open in the lobby of a London hotel, I was just a baby or maybe not even born yet. I never graduated to this kind of staged hijinks, maybe because no one ever joked about my mother and father receiving the Nobel Prize for Architecture the way Bob Hope did about Anita's parents.

I love New York, my birthplace, and plan to return there as often as possible. Anita does not feel the same way about Sweden. She says that she has not been appreciated by the Swedish people and will only move back when she is dead. Technically, I don't think this counts as moving. I don't care what people in New York think of me. As a matter of fact, there are only about three people in New York who might give me any thought. I'll go if I have a plane ticket and a place to stay.

Maybe Wikipedia and Facebook aren't giving me good enough information to make this Friend decision. I should go to Rome. Anita and I can splash around in the Trevi Fountain and get to know each other first. Ah. La Dolce Vita.