The Cookie Crumbled

The extent of my experience with fortune telling, psychics, and the like, begins and ends with one thing. Cookies. I like to think that "a wonderful opportunity will soon present itself" is all the soothsaying I need. On the practical side, for the price of an order of skewered beef and an exotic cocktail that includes a piece of patio furniture, I get a free glimpse into my future. I go home with good fortune, a paper umbrella and no hard feelings.

I used to tell people that I didn't seek out "real" information about the future because I didn't want to know if I was going to be run over by a truck. I don't know why I picked that particular scenario. It just seemed to have had the right touch of the gruesome to prove my point of leaving well enough alone. Some agreed, while others would argue with me, saying that nobody ever gets bad news at a reading. Rather, they might receive guidance on how to navigate difficult waters. Uh-huh. All I know is, I stepped out of the line for a party psychic after hearing someone say they had just been told that "in two years time, you will be a bitter divorcee". I came for the canapés and, as you can see, I probably had the right idea.

This morning, listening to the radio, I heard a news story about the end of a trial. The case involved a 45-year-old fortuneteller and her 23-year-old daughter who were murdered by a female client. One who had come seeking a spell to bring back her ex-boyfriend. Not from the dead, just back to her. (I am beginning to see at least one reason why the boyfriend might have left.) Under the circumstances I hesitate to use the term dead giveaway, but the client's request should have been an indication of how things were going to progress. I think you are supposed to go to a witch doctor, not a fortuneteller, for spells. Calling Dr. Bombay.

It boiled down to this--you can't change reality. That is what the client heard and did not like. Honestly, I would have told her the same thing and I'm no fortuneteller. Rage and murder ensued. Now look at the reality. Facing the death penalty is much worse than not getting your boyfriend back. I mean, in my opinion, anyway.

I'm starting to think about one other thing, which is like saying, "Please, enjoy another can of worms, why don't you?" If you can't change reality and you are a fortuneteller, then did you know this woman was crazy enough to come back and kill you, steal your money, and go on a $3,000 shopping spree before being caught?

I have come to three conclusions...

One: If you can't change reality, it especially sucks to be someone who can see the future.

Two: If you must seek answers, my fortune cookie method is likely cheaper and less dangerous.

Three: Live in the moment.